i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
True strength comes from lack of pants
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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