i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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