My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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