I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
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One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
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that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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