We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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