she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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