i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
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Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
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If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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