i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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