Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize