I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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