omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
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Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
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The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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