Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
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She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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