Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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