I like to think it a success when the cops are called
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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