His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize