i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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