I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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