he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
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