she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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