That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
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I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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