I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
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