The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
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