Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize