Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
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