He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize