Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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