Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
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Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
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Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
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