he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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