so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize