True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize