Please, let me fuck your mom
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need Xanax blowdarts
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize