Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize