We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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