i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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