You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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