Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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