i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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