His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I feel like abortions should bother me more
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize