The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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