I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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