It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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