She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize