As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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