omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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