Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize