So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
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