he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
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im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
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I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
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