if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Dignity is for republicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize