JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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