What did we do last night that was yellow?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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